Mountain bike and his coat of ‘no’ colours

Something else that suffered in the storm was the cover on my mountain bike. It was a Halfords one for £20 and by far the best bike cover I could wish for. However there was no way it could withstand the 113 mph winds especially as it already had tears in from where I’d reversed into trees. And walls. And gates. And lamp posts. Anyway…I went into Halfords here but they only had the cheap but good covers meant for bikes sitting in the yard or whatever. But I found a huge cycle shop called Tiso’s in Inverness and they sold me a cover for £20 which I thought was a good price til I got it back to the van and found it was cheap rubbish.

Honestly, you know those plastic tarpaulins you get from the £ shop? They’re useful for many things, this cover is literally 2 of those, laid on top of each other and 3 sides stitched. I am not kidding they are a total and utter piss-taking rip off. I really can’t find any way I can return it as it is what is says on the package, a plastic tarp rain cover for a bike.

Biggest load of shite I’ve ever spent £20 on and Tiso’s brand themselves as all things to all cyclists with an aim for quality and customer service. BOLLOX!! Anyone selling this shite should sell if for £5 as a budget option to those who want a stopgap cover.

I did manage to get it on the mountain bike, although it’s perfectly square shape doesn’t help and means a lot of space is wasted. Also because of that the bike pedals, chain bottom and almost half the wheels are exposed and anyone with a mountain bike knows what salt spray can do to a bike. It’s going to have to do until I can find another Halfords one, which covers the whole bike. Or any cover really which is not just cheap shite plastic bag.

Tiso’s I won’t ever buy anything from you whilst here because if you sell this utter crap as the only bike cover you sell, then what other cheap crap have you got for sale?

Revolutionary Magic Tyre fixer!

Puncture repairer
Puncture repairer

Well there I am in Feu Vert, France’s answer to Halfords trying to find one of those compressor type things that inflate your tyre. I’ve had a slow puncture for weeks now thanks to a screw in the tread, but my tyres are Vanco 2’s so you can’t repair them. There’s still life left in them though so I’ve been topping up now and again but it’s cost me € far just in tyre inflating machines.

Sitting in an aire once I got chatting to a British lad who loaned me his Dad’s compressor and it worked a treat, so I promised myself I’d get one. It would come in handy for the bike too. But here they are in Fey Vert’s for a whopping €75! Feck that! But the lad is really nice so i let him sell me his cheapest bottle of puncture repair squirt. You can pay €12 but he had the one pictured for a fiver so I said aww what the heck I’ll try it out.

Well you’re not going to believe this but, I filled the tyre and it’s been 6 days now and it has not gone down one little bit! Bloody marvellous! So I have been to Carrefour and now have two of them as spares. I admit to being a cynic but these things really do work. God knows how though as I can’t read the instructions 🙂



This lasted me until I got back to the UK 2 months later, and 1 month after that got up north and had some new tyres fitted.

I can find my way anywhere now

I’m off down to Luton to meet some friends, so I’ve been into Halfords in Penrith and bought a TomTom Go satnav.

TomTom One SatnavIt was quite funny that Halfords have big signs up everywhere saying free fitting. But when the lad came out he couldn’t figure out how it went together lol I’ve got quite good spatial ability so I could see clearly, but he obviously wasn’t going to get it.

I debated to myself playing dumb and letting him muddle his way through. But I knew I’d get bored and I wanted to be off anyway, so I showed him how it went together and stuck on the windscreen. Of course then he wanted to show me it’s basic operation. That was good, that’s what he’s trained to do. But I lied and said I’d had one before and knew how it worked. I really just wanted to be off and I knew I’d suss it anyway.

I stuck my mates address in and it said…4 hours and 20 minutes! Best get cracking then!