A cracking eggs-splanation for a bad tum ….

When I was a teenager I was a tad lazy and didn’t bother to use my culinary skills, like most young lads I suspect, egg and chips … apart from taking forever to make, is pretty simple and very tasty. So, that’s what I lived on. I would come in at stupid ‘o clock in the morning and make egg and chips,  cos you can’t go to bed on an empty belly. Ask any teenage lad.

I even developed the best way to make them: if you can be bothered, parboil them first, then drown em in red hot fat. Otherwise, just drown em in red hot fat. Lard I mean, not this poncey oil they use now, real proper ‘ard man lard. Bloody good for you it is.

Then get some lard from the chip pan into the frying pan and put your egg in and as soon as it hits the pan start splashing fat over the top of the egg. When the yolk goes milky white, it’s done so get it out sharpish like and lay it beside the chips. Not on the chips, that’s crude, make a space for it beside them. Make a space for them I should say cos any growing lad will need two eggs 🙂


So this was how I lived for several of my teenage years and laugh if you like but, how many of you know that potatoes are super food? Aye see that got ya there didn’t it. Well they are. And eggs are good for you, well they’re bad for you but, no they’re good for you but, maybe only when they’re not bad for you … oh bugger, Edwina! are they good or bad? I forgot!!

So, fast forward to my adult years. As a newly divorced man, egg banjos were a staple fast food. Especially with some onion salt mmmm.

Fast forward again, this time right to my forties. Some time ago I noticed that whenever I ate eggs I got a slightly upset stomach. Nothing that gave me the runs and no pain enough to distract me from my daily business, but quite uncomfortable and directly related to how many eggs I had eaten. I thought this was odd, but I put it down to developing some extremely mild allergic reaction over the years. I have been told this can happen, especially with dairy products.

Now here’s the weird thing.

Since coming to France I’ve enjoyed the freshness of their fresh fruit and veg. It’s on par with what Asda’s used to be like, til Asda’s started to be off before you even got it home. So it was a while before I tried their eggs but one day I bought half a dozen, mainly to make Yorkshire puddings with. (I make a mean Yorkshire pudding I do, you could almost abseil off them lol)

So one day I’m working away and I fancy a snack, except I rarely buy snacky type things anymore so I looked in the fridge and thought, yup, I’ll make an egg sandwich and sod the upset belly cos it’s bearable, but hunger isn’t. So I made one and guess what?

Yup … No bad belly!!

Not at all. Not so much as a twinge or a colon fart. I was most impressed!

Since then I buy eggs every shop to use in cooking, to poach and scramble, to make omelettes and banjos, boiled on salads and stirred into rice, I do the full range. Not once so far have I had even a hint of a bad belly.

So … what does it all mean? Someone suggested to me that by default all French eggs are free range. Well firstly I can’t verify that and secondly what does free range mean? It’s not organic, but are organic any better anyway I don’t know.

I haven’t got the answer to the why, all I can tell you is, if you like eggs but they make you ill, come to France. 🙂

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