Tree trunk
Tree trunk

Arne is one of those places that you might never visit unless someone suggests it to you. It’s basically a nature park. After successfully ripping my rear bumper off negotiating a narrow lane, I continued to damage the front bumper slightly too, as I believe in having a nice balance in things. From then on God believed me when I said I’d go to church on Sunday so nothing else bad happened and I continued on to visit this park.

So I parked up and set off wandering through the woods. They’re gorgeous and I got some great pictures and as the weather was bright and still I got some nice reflection shots.

About a half mile further through the woods I found a well constructed 2 floor hide. Excellent. I went upstairs, put the 400 mm lens on the camera and settled down to watch for dinosaurs. The only other people in the hide were an older, quite well to do couple who appeared polite and said hello, but clearly weren’t happy that they’d been disturbed.  After a while though they returned to using their £400 binoculars and I scanned the marshes for wildlife.

Aha! A deer! CLICK! CLOCK! Nice one that’s in the bag. I ‘ll grab another just in case. CLICK! CLOCK!  Oh there’s what looks for all the world like a water buffalo. CLICK! CLOCK! and another just in case. CLICK! CLOCK! Oh look, I know a curlew when I see one and the layout of the ground around it makes a nice scene. CLICK! CLOCK! CLICK! CLOCK! CLICK! CLOCK!  Got an extra one there just for good measure.  Hmmmm more deer, but they might be a little way off from the hide. So I get the converter out of the bag, fit it to the camera then fit the lens to the converter, clunk clack twist clack lock. OK 800 mm and £1500 worth of top glass, I focus in on the deer annnnnnnnnnnnnddddd …. CLICK!CLOCK! CLICK!CLOCK! CLICK!CLOCK! CLICK!CLOCK! CLICK!CLOCK! Yes they are a very satisfying series of pictures methinks.

Sadly Mrs Bouquet and her fella look like I just farted. I think they see me as a serious intrusion. Well I can’t help the noise of the camera. Oh there’s some birds landing on the water …CLICK! CLOCK! CLICK! CLOCK! Yep that did it. Mrs B heads out the door with her fella like a good little puppy behind her with a polite smile and a forced “Goodbye” and leave the hide, but I hear them go down to the bottom level and open windows down there. OK. That’s fair enough. Now I can really fill my boots and pick my nose cos it’s been itching for ages.

I stayed another little while taking pictures then put the stuff away, woke the dog and we trundled off out of the hide. As we came down the stairs I could hear a creaking noise, and I wondered if Mrs B and her man would be joining me for the walk back through the forest. Then I heard more noises, I swear I  was sure they were going to hide in case I came in the bottom part. I felt like doing just that but more noise from inside stopped me. It was more regular now, cre-ak ee-ek cre-ak ee-ek cre-ak ee-ek. I listened at the door, heard soft whispers then, creak eek creak eek creak eek getting faster. Oh my God I thought, they’re not! Sure enough though the creak eek turned into a creak! creak! creak! creak! creak! creak! Hahaha I couldn’t resist poking my nose through the slatted door and there, sure enough was puppy man, giving Mrs B  a bone as she bent over the bench in the hide!  Well I was fit to bust and felt like bursting in and asking what the hell they were doing. But they were right into it and Puppy man was really going hell for leather. Mrs B was not the Bouquet she appeared, cos she’s talking a bit dirty to him and clinging on to the side of the bench for dear life.

Well I thought, so that’s what they do at Derby and Joan days out! I decide to leave them to their fun and I set off with the dog to head back to Studland.

Some weeks later, I was at a friends house and unusually for me was watching his TV while waiting for him to come back. Guess who appeared on TV!!


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